> > by Holidays for Couples
Attention all you guys out there ... this is your wake-up call!
If you’re wondering how to spoil the love of your life and let her know the true depth of your feelings, we have the answer. And, you’ll be pleased to hear, it doesn’t involve any expensive, contrived gifts or potentially embarrassing public declarations of undying love!The secret is, the thing she really wants is simply to know that you’ve been thinking about her. Just as a simple bunch of fresh flowers picked on the spur of the moment is likely to get more of a reaction than a lovely (but probably expected) bouquet of long-stemmed roses on Valentine’s Day, a romantic weekend away ‘just because’ is the ultimate special gesture.
Let’s get one thing straight right from the start - merely suggesting a trip and then leaving the organising up to her just isn’t on! Similarly, don’t drop hints about your plans and then expect her to fill in all the blanks regarding dates, destinations and so forth. There will be plenty of other times in the future for “joint jaunts”. For now, if you’re really serious about planning a special treat to show her just what she means to you, it’s time to take control.
The key is to organise everything yourself. It’s only a few hours out of your life researching, planning, booking - and ultimately enjoying - but you and your partner will bask in the beautiful memories forever.
If you’re at the stage in your relationship where you can bring up the subject of a weekend away, you should know your beloved well enough to be aware of the type of escape that will appeal to her ... and to you (after all, you don’t have to be a martyr to ensure she has a good time - it should be a wonderful experience for both of you). However, booking a weekend at a beach where you can hone your surfing skills when you know she’s allergic to sand and her real passion is snowboarding, is hardly an appropriate choice for a weekend dedicated to her.
Take responsibility for all aspects of the trip and do a bit of research to ensure the accommodation you book is just perfect. Would she prefer an old fashioned cottage complete with rose garden, meandering stream and afternoon teas? Maybe a fireplace, spa bath and heart-shaped bed? Or is her dream a five star hotel with room service and in-house movies? Whatever you decide, make sure you investigate the options and choose wisely. Even if you don’t like chintz but she worships at the altar of Laura Ashley, you’re just going to have to get over it. After all, it’s only for a few days.
It’s vital to plan the time of your escape carefully. School holidays are definitely out for a trip such as this, and the weather at the time of year you’re going must suit the destination. And let’s not forget that there’s bound to be one weekend a month when she’d probably rather not go, so try and be sympathetic to “secret women’s business” too. If you need to leave early on a Friday afternoon or come back on a Monday, try and organise this with her work for extra brownie points. And do everything you can to make sure the dates you choose suit her ... if you choose a weekend when she’s busy - and she’s been telling you about her plans for months - it’s not a good recipe for peace, love and harmony. Once you’ve booked, it’s time to organise transportation. Be especially diligent if you’re driving, and plan the route carefully in advance to avoid any “discussions”(!) about which turn off to take on your way there.
After you’ve advised her what to take, make sure you pack well yourself. Apart from your own personal items, get a bit creative ... and get romantic. Of course, it all depends on where you’re going and how you’re getting there, but a few things to consider are a couple of decent bottles of wine, maybe her favourite liqueur, some delicious nibblies for picnics or snacks, aromatherapy candles and essential oils, bubble bath and massage oil ...
If you’re staying at a cosy B&B, check to see if they have an entertainment totem. If so, throw in a few romantic CDs and videos. How about Bull Durham? That way, you can play Kevin Costner to her Susan Sarandon as you playfully paint her toenails!
Try also to investigate a few things to do while you’re there. From athletic, adventurous undertakings to romantic walks, eclectic galleries and fabulous places to eat, make sure that you can do as much - or as little - as you want. And if there’s a kitchen in your love nest, see if there’s somewhere nearby where you can stock up on some gourmet delights and do your own impression of Escoffier. She’s bound to appreciate the effort and sentiment of you preparing a special meal which you can enjoy together in private (especially if you’re not known for your culinary expertise!).
Finally, while few of us have an unlimited budget, it’s important to make sure you come financially prepared for the events you have so carefully planned. Would 007 turn to Pussy Galore for a loan when checking out of a hotel? If you share similar likes and interests, such a weekend is hardly going to be a hardship and besides, if she’s special enough to deserve such a trip and attention, she’s bound to offer to help out anyway - whether you accept or not depends completely on your relationship. A romantic break doesn’t have to break the bank - get creative, and realise that what she’s really after is time alone together, just relaxing and luxuriating in each other, away from it all.
A weekend away is a time for true indulgence and relaxation. A time to really talk to each other - to discover secrets, share dreams, and just catch up on the minutiae of life. Pamper and spoil her and it will come back to you threefold. And remember - if you organise an escape to a destination that you know your partner will love - without having to consult her about it - it will show that you really know her and really listen when she speaks. And to many, that is something both precious and rare.
P.S The year 2010 is here and, in keeping with the spirit of equality, the above advice obviously relates to women as well. Go for it, girls!
The Ten Commandments
When you arrive - and this applies to the entire weekend - there are a few golden rules by which to abide:
1. Thou shalt turn off thy mobile phone and leave it off.
2. Thou shalt not invite thy mates who live nearby to pop in for a “quick drink”.
3. Thou shalt not talk ad nauseum about thy work.
4. Thou shalt not watch the footy/cricket/motor racing/tiddlywinks championships on the box. The only TV allowed during such a weekend (and in a perfect world there would be none) is a romantic comedy with a happy ending. If your team’s playing in the final, get someone to tape it.
5. Thou shalt not ring thy mother/best mate/ex-girlfriend.
6. Thou shalt not go on about all the organisation thou hast undertaken in preparation for thy weekend away.
7. Thou shalt not expect thy wife/fiancee/girlfriend to live in a permanent state of gratitude about thy trip. Using thy trip as leverage or ammunition in order to give thou carte blanche to do or say anything thy wants whenever thy wants until death do you part is a sin.
8. Thou shalt keep thy bodily functions to an absolute minimum.
9. Thou shalt take off thy socks at bedtime.
10. If thy partner is a sporting fanatic, thou shalt ignore the fourth commandment.